Book of Saturday, ch. 6 — Kulturkrieg

Champagne

— So, how do you want to die?
— I want to die while flying over the North Pole, in a plane crash caused by an excess load of champagne in the plane’s cargo.

Pigeon

“The story starts showing an adorable household having breakfast. Then suddenly the dad finds a giant, giant cockroach in the bathroom. It takes him fifteen minutes to kill it, and then the whole house gets smashed to pieces under the foot of a pigeon.”

Meow

“Do you think cats insult each other? that there is a special ‘meow’ that stands for ‘you fucking bitch’?”

Cristo

“I’d like to form a punk band whose biggest success would be a track called “Cristo”–and the only lyrics would be ‘I like to wrap shit up, I like to wrap shit up, I like to wrap shit up.’”

Ramen

Rice and Beans for 2n

olive oil or butter
n yellow onions
other fresh vegetables; experiment
3n cloves garlic
n 12-oz cans white, kidney, or black beans
n cubes Knorr beef or vegetable bouillon
n teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
3n teaspoons ground cumin
n cups dry rice, preferably brown

Put rice in rice cooker. Add water as specified on rice package. (Default: 2 cups water per cup of rice.) Turn on rice cooker and forget about it.

Chop onions and other vegetables and fry in oil, over fairly low heat, till onions are glassy. Put in chopped garlic, pepper, cumin, and a little more fat, and stir. Keep heat low. Cook another 2 or 3 minutes, then add beans (don’t drain the beans), and stir. Throw in the bouillon cube(s), cover, and cook on lowish heat for at least 10 minutes more. Stir vigilantly to avoid sticking.

If you want to save money, buy beans in giant cans from discount stores. Spices are also much cheaper when bought in bulk. If there’s an Indian grocery store near you, they’ll have big bags of cumin for the same price as the little jars in supermarkets.

Paul Graham, “Ramen Profitable”

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